This time, I will introduce a poem that brought tears to the eyes of exhausted Japanese mothers caught up in the challenges of childcare.
“Mom’s Daily Life”
During my single days,
I loved wearing high-heeled shoes.
Although I wasn’t fond of alcohol, I enjoyed the lively atmosphere of drinking with friends.
My favorite music was by Mr. Children, and I always had their songs on my Walkman to listen to whenever I wanted.
I enjoyed leisurely reading books on the train.
I indulged in half-baths in the bathtub.
Every two months, I would visit the beauty salon without fail.
I loved putting on makeup.
I enjoyed going to the movies alone.
I would buy trendy magazines,
listen to popular songs,
wear fashionable clothes,
and go to trendy places whenever I pleased.
But now, I wear sneakers covered in mud,
carry a large bag filled with my children’s clothes and diapers on my shoulder,
without bothering to put on proper makeup,
tie my hair up in a ponytail,
and every day,
I hold my children’s hands and go for a walk in the park.
The music I listen to has changed from Mr. Children to the Anpanman March.
Instead of fashion magazines,
I now gaze at my child’s health record book and letters from kindergarten.
My thoughts revolve around
tonight’s dinner menu,
the snacks, bath time, and dinner routine after my eldest daughter returns from kindergarten,
whether the laundry will dry in today’s weather,
and whether it will be sunny for my eldest daughter’s field trip tomorrow.
Yesterday, I got angry at my restless younger son who cries intensely when he gets sleepy,
so today, I’ll put him to bed early.
Today, let’s go to sleep without getting angry.
These are the things I think about.
Every day, I am swept away by the relentless flow of daily life,
and I can no longer recall
the feeling of having a tidy room,
the joy of sleeping peacefully throughout the night,
or the leisurely application of mascara.
Yes, I can’t remember anymore.
That’s why we end up forgetting,
that this everyday life
won’t last forever.
When I can finally take a leisurely bath by myself,
I will count the numbers while facing you in the bathtub,
and I will remember the sound of your tender voice echoing softly.
When I can sleep as much as I want and turn over freely,
I will search for the warmth of your presence, even if I lie down anywhere.
When I can play my favorite music CDs as much as I want,
I will remember your laughter that filled this room,
and I will cry.
When I can spend as much time as I want on makeup,
and you pull on my clothes, climb onto my lap,
and disturb everything I do,
I will remember the touch of your small hands,
and I will cry.
When I can wear high heels as much as I want,
I will chase after you, laughing and running around,
remembering the sky we played under, covered in mud,
and I will cry.
When the days come when I only wash mine and your father’s laundry,
and I realize there are no socks covered in sand,
no pants soiled with urine,
and no shirts stained by spilled milk in the laundry basket,
I will cry.
When the day comes to vacuum the room where your footsteps are absent,
and I realize there are no scattered crumbs of broken biscuits,
no small toy parts,
and no strands of your thin, soft hair on the floor,
I will cry.
When I can do whatever I want,
whenever I want,
as much as I want,
I will remember your figure always calling out “Mom” to me,
always searching for me,
and I will cry.
Until when will this last?
Until when will you be here by my side?
And as I ponder these things,
once again, today has come to an end.
Our everyday life is the “now” with our children by our side,
so every moment I can be alone, away from my children, feels special,
and I savor the joy of indulging in what I love.
But when I think about my own life,
what is truly special is this everyday life of having children by my side.
However, we forget about it.
Somehow, we create an illusion that it will continue forever,
and we go through each day, feeling overwhelmed.
But one day, we will come to realize
that countless precious moments of love are scattered within this challenging everyday life.
From the moment our children were born into this world until today,
they have been tirelessly creating memories for us, their moms and dads,
using all their strength.
We realize this only after those moments have passed.
A mom’s everyday life is a life where she can be a mom.
Until our lives come to an end,
we will continue to think of our children, worry about them, and love them,
even when we are separated from them.
But one day, we will come to realize just how short-lived
those days are when we can be by our children’s side as “Mom.”
Today, once again, you turn around with an innocent smile,
call out “Mom,”
and jump into my arms.
I will never forget.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Yesterday, when I laughed because I cut your bangs too short.
Today, when I scolded you and tears welled up in my eyes.
The night when I laughed at your sleeping posture.
The whiteness of the daisies you picked for me.
For being forgiven by you.
For this everyday life with you by my side.
I will never forget.
I also love Mr. Children,
but I have come to appreciate the moving songs on E-TV.
I also loved high heels,
but I have grown to love the comfort of sneakers.
I used to think that I was the most important,
but my children have taught me that there is something more precious than my own life.
From the bottom of my heart, I am grateful
to my children, who made me realize that.
Quoted from “Mom’s Daily Life” (LICO’s Blog).
